i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
