he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
