my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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