I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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