Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
