Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
