Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
