you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
