somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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