i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
