I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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