No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
