I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
