Fuck appropriateness.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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