The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
