So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
