I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
