oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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