sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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