what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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