So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Vodka?
Forever.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
