I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
only if we run a train.
done.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
