im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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