the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
