Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
