wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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