so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
