Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
