Its about making memories worth repressing
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
