You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
