Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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