My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
