if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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