I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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