the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
