Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
