One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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