i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize