My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
