we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
