I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this just has baby written all over it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
