we have officially lost it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
