Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Randomize