No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
