Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
