i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
