my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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