She's JV to your varsity
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
