Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize