hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Randomize
