Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
