i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
