And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I love black thongs
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
