You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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