Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
