ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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