sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
