I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
