is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
