i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
do herpes really smell.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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