I wannas sexs uuuuu
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
