Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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