I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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