If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
