so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
