so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
